In America, the act of leaving home is a common expectation. While the experience varies from person to person, an overarching goal is shared. When parents push their kids “out the nest”, the young adults are expected to use their parents’ teachings and other lessons learned throughout childhood to adapt to the real unfiltered world and find their place within it. Throughout my childhood, the phrase “functional adult” was frequently brought up when talking about the future, along with the countdown for my inevitable departure with my parents and siblings. Each transition in my life from toddler to young teen acted like a building block which in the end would bridge the gap between my sheltered beginning to the beginning of my adulthood. Once this bridge was made, my parents began to push me across this bridge and out the house. However, what does leaving home and being a functional adult really boil down to? Once you start on the path of being a functional adult you must develop your own understanding of what is right, what is wrong and what you can and cannot afford.
Once you leave home and you are on your own, you must take responsibility for your actions and each choice you make has a cost, whether it’s a big decision or small one. Simple things like grocery shopping become daunting tasks because of the freedom and surplus of choices and therefore a surplus of possible consequences. For example, when shopping for something as simple as Ramen, you are responsible for making multiple conscious or subconscious decisions. For instance, if you were to decide between a $0.26 pack of Maruchan Ramen Noodle Soup and a $5.19 Thai Kitchen Gluten Free Pad Thai Noodle Kit there is a more obvious financial decision that must be made. However, there are more layered decisions present than the financial one which have additional costs tied to them. For example, if you are very conscious about your health then you must consider the fact that while the Thai Noodle Kit is more expensive, it has more natural ingredients. As a functional adult you are responsible for deciding if purchasing the more expensive option is not only a financially sound decision but a healthy one and you must be aware of how these decisions impact your mental health. Personally, I did not start paying attention to these costs associated with things like grocery shopping until it was my money and mental health on the line. Once I started becoming more independent, I had to decide if running to Walmart before a rehearsal for an afterschool snack was a sound decision. I had to determine what I would want to get, and if I had enough money to cover the item and the sales tax. Also, I had to think about how many times I went to Walmart over the course of a month, be cautious about how much I was spending and see if going was worth my time. Once you leave home and become a functional adult, each little decision you make can have a financial, physical and mental cost and you are responsible for managing them.
In professional relationships, there are costs associated as well. Deciding between directness and politeness is one example. One of my first major lessons when I was promoted to be a manager was deciding when to be direct and when to be polite and gentle. During my time with this company, there was one particular employee that I managed who was not respectful and chose to openly not do as I asked them to. As a manager, it was my responsibility to ensure that everything was running smoothly within the store, and if everyone did not do their part, then there were consequences. Personally, I did not care for this conflict and wanted to just overlook this situation and do the work myself. However, the process of becoming a functional adult makes it inevitable to have seemingly “difficult” conversations. In this situation, it was not my job to pacify or cover, but to be transparent and direct in order to be as effective and efficient as possible. The cost of this decision was my comfort and my time. It took me some time to decide that enough was enough and I needed to talk with my bosses about this issue. Starting the conversation to address this issue with my bosses was not something I took comfort in, but it was my job to be honest, and transparent with my bosses.
In conclusion, once we mentally and physically leave the nest, we must acknowledge that every action has an equal and opposite cost. Costs that we must decide if we can financially, physically, mentally and professionally afford. Once we leave home and start the process of becoming a functional adult, we can no longer afford to “go through the motions” and disregard the cost of our actions. We must take responsibility and become strategic and intentional because in the end it is our choices that show how functional we really are.
Photo by Robert Anasch on Unsplash
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